[Gil stands very, very still, his eyes wide in shock and mortification and panic and more shock. His hand twitches in Oz's, and by the time he's done it's practically shaking. His face is terribly red
[but he laughs, an awkward burst at first, but it spills out anyway--]
Y-- you...
All of that...
Oz... Oz, I didn't choose Break! We were matched on arrival, and God help us both it's kept him from signing up with lunatics who'd stab him just as soon as anything else, and my objectives, they don't suit you at all, I, God, and my head, I'm sorry, I don't know what else I can do but try to make this place safer because it's where we are now, it's where you'll live and I hardly know what to make of my own body anymore anyway, but when I fight it's like I have any kind of, bearings, and -- Nikolas, he -- I love you, Oz, I'm sorry, I didn't think --
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I don't deserve-- to say that now-- if I've... been wrong...
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I've known that for a while. I was just waiting to see how long it would take for you to say it yourself.
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doooone
[grinning with UTMOST confidence]
But that love is the one thing I won't give up.
Re: doooone
and also abruptly crying]
Re: doooone
Y-- you...
All of that...
Oz... Oz, I didn't choose Break! We were matched on arrival, and God help us both it's kept him from signing up with lunatics who'd stab him just as soon as anything else, and my objectives, they don't suit you at all, I, God, and my head, I'm sorry, I don't know what else I can do but try to make this place safer because it's where we are now, it's where you'll live and I hardly know what to make of my own body anymore anyway, but when I fight it's like I have any kind of, bearings, and -- Nikolas, he -- I love you, Oz, I'm sorry, I didn't think --
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I never thought...
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I didn't, that's too many things, I disappointed you with, I don't want to disappoint you anymore. Y-- you knew.
How long have you known.
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Did you know Nikolas told me that he loved you the very first day I arrived?
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Of course he did
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That. Idiot.
Y-- you didn't say anything--!
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Though there's one thing I'm certain that you don't know.
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W--what could be left.
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Elliot--!
I...
I'm sorry... I've always been stupid...
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[reaching to grab for your face, laughing]
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I KNOW I REPLIED TO THIS SOB I AM SORRY
IT'S OKAY I DIDN'T WANT TO FUSS I LOVE YOU!!1
YOU'RE ALLOWED TO FUSS AT ME ALWAYS!!!!!!!
;o;
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