[Gil stands very, very still, his eyes wide in shock and mortification and panic and more shock. His hand twitches in Oz's, and by the time he's done it's practically shaking. His face is terribly red
[but he laughs, an awkward burst at first, but it spills out anyway--]
Y-- you...
All of that...
Oz... Oz, I didn't choose Break! We were matched on arrival, and God help us both it's kept him from signing up with lunatics who'd stab him just as soon as anything else, and my objectives, they don't suit you at all, I, God, and my head, I'm sorry, I don't know what else I can do but try to make this place safer because it's where we are now, it's where you'll live and I hardly know what to make of my own body anymore anyway, but when I fight it's like I have any kind of, bearings, and -- Nikolas, he -- I love you, Oz, I'm sorry, I didn't think --
[Gil pulls in a choppy, stammered breath, not daring or wanting to let Oz go, flush to his ears and stunned and smitten. For the moment, his fears and complications decimated, all he's got when he looks at Oz is awe and love.]
[He just wanted to see what his expression was so he could tease him, but then Oz saw Gil's face and he couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed himself]
. . . I must have really given you a hard time, didn't I?
doooone
[grinning with UTMOST confidence]
But that love is the one thing I won't give up.
Re: doooone
and also abruptly crying]
Re: doooone
Y-- you...
All of that...
Oz... Oz, I didn't choose Break! We were matched on arrival, and God help us both it's kept him from signing up with lunatics who'd stab him just as soon as anything else, and my objectives, they don't suit you at all, I, God, and my head, I'm sorry, I don't know what else I can do but try to make this place safer because it's where we are now, it's where you'll live and I hardly know what to make of my own body anymore anyway, but when I fight it's like I have any kind of, bearings, and -- Nikolas, he -- I love you, Oz, I'm sorry, I didn't think --
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I never thought...
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I didn't, that's too many things, I disappointed you with, I don't want to disappoint you anymore. Y-- you knew.
How long have you known.
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Did you know Nikolas told me that he loved you the very first day I arrived?
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Of course he did
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That. Idiot.
Y-- you didn't say anything--!
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Though there's one thing I'm certain that you don't know.
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W--what could be left.
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Elliot--!
I...
I'm sorry... I've always been stupid...
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[reaching to grab for your face, laughing]
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I know you know--! I'm sorry! I'm sorry. Oz.
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[tugging at his face, pulling it doooown]
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[if this is a dream i hope i just die right now that would be okay]
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[eventually oz pulls away from the kiss long enough to stare at gil's face for a moment. of course, he's still clinging to him either way]
[jiiiii]
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I KNOW I REPLIED TO THIS SOB I AM SORRY
. . . I must have really given you a hard time, didn't I?
IT'S OKAY I DIDN'T WANT TO FUSS I LOVE YOU!!1
YOU'RE ALLOWED TO FUSS AT ME ALWAYS!!!!!!!
;o;
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